Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

Laeneris has limited the viewing of this artwork
to members of the DeviantArt community only.

You can log in or become a member for FREE!

Edit: A DLD? :faint: Please excuse me while I freak out (in a good way). Thank you! :iconawwloveplz:
-----------------
This is, I guess, a continuation from Baby blue eyes.
[link]

There was originally a whole story to this, but in the end, I decided that all of the words added nothing. ^^; So I cut until this was all I had left. I guess it would also have been an infringement of Someone's privacy.

This is for everyone who's gone through abuse of any kind. It makes me incredibly sad to realize that in some cases things could've been prevented... or at least people could have gotten help...

Comments and critique appreciated as always, although I understand it's fairly short & a touchy subject so there might not be too much to talk about. Thank you for reading. :heart:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfellonie:
Fellonie Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow grats on your DLD! I see why this got one. So simple but perfect. 
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2013  Student Writer
I was so happy when I got it. :D Though that made me feel a little bit uncomfortable, because I would much rather have the person this is for not experience any pain (then I wouldn't have written it, if that makes any sense). :(
Reply
:iconbloodymess-vaot:
BloodyMess-VaoT Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Says everything!
Gratz on your DLD!!!
Makes me kinda think of the call: Fire! thing.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much!! :dance: I was so excited when I received one! :iconwantplz:
Reply
:iconja-mes:
Ja-mes Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A heavy, heavy impact with so few words. Exemplary. Many congratulations for the DLD.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much! :huggle:
Reply
:icondamonwakes:
DamonWakes Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013   Writer
It's weird, but with these single digit word count pieces, the title seems to be a huge factor in how well they work. If it doesn't say enough, it's a wasted opportunity. If it says too much, it looks lazy. This, I think, is just the right balance: the title sets the scene, the text tells the story. It's an important story, too: so often things could be changed if just one person spoke out, and so often they just stay the same.

Congratulations on the DLD! :-)
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student Writer
It does seem that way. :nod: It's a tricky balance between saying enough to add to the story, but not too much as to spell everything out before someone starts reading.

Thank you very much for your kind words. :heart:
Reply
:iconpinballwitch:
pinballwitch Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
Congrats on the DLD :nod:

Very chilling. Wow. Conveys a lot in so few words (including the title, of course).
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :huggle: There used to be much more to it, but looking back I'm glad I decided to cut those words. :)
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013   Writer
:+fav: ... Great piece all the way around. Congratulations on your DLD. I like this a lot. Thank you.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :blush: I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013   Writer
:) :iconwelcomeplz: I did.
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: [link]

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much, that made my day! :squee: :iconheartpurpleplz:
Reply
:iconsilverinkblot:
SilverInkblot Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It took me a minute to get it, but when I did it hit hard. Fantastic short you've got here.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much for the compliment. :heart: I think this is the only piece I have in which the title actually plays a big role!
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is... deep. I am glad I gave it a second thought and now I shall present my opinion over WHY the titles are important :D

If not for the title, it is what happens with my at university (me trying to sleep and neighbor not letting me due to the notorious hostel I am in). The title is what... makes this chilling. It can refer to different abuses actually... it can (in a vague way) refer to parents unattending or mistreating their children or... other forms of abuse.

Well written and a touchy topic.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
Ah yes, I recall a journal about something with a title? I only skimmed it, it's been sitting in my inbox for a while till I get the willpower to drag myself through my messages ^^;

If you take this without the title it could mean many things, some just normal everyday annoyances... but I was of course referring to something else, I'm glad you caught that. :) I've had the blessing to never have encountered this myself, but I know someone who has...

Thank you for the compliment! :huggle:
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yea, it was a journal but no problem... it was nothing serious :) I feel sorry for that person, whoever it is :(

You are welcome!
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
If it makes you feel any better, she's away from that person now :) Of course the memories don't go away but at least that terrible person has left her life.
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That does make me feel better :aww: I am relieved when people with bad memories are able to live on better and get stronger with time.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Something which my friend goes through every day *sigh* Its a drain... A horrible drain...

Its crisp, but its very VERY deep... Especially when the neighbor is the one whose watching this suffering happen...

*closes eyes* *deep breath* good lord.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
I'm so sorry you know someone who's going through this... :cling: I really hope he/she will be rescued in time.

*hugs for a looong time* I'm sorry! :crying: I didn't mean to make you upset!
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I hope so too.

Its alright. We all need to let it go from time to time. But thanks anyway, it means a lot.
Reply
:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's really cool!
The fact that you put the "a little higher" at the end gives it that essence of importance and links title and words together. Very nice :heart:

I also always think about how things like this could've been prevented, though it makes me mad rather than sad. The ignorance of some people and the looking-away-when-needed-most infuriates me -_-

*flies off to Baby blue eyes*
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
I'm happy that you think so! :D I was trying to cut enough to make it into a six word story but it would've lost its power if I cut the 'a little higher'. ^^;

Sad and mad, I should go back and add that second one!

*flies with you* A whole new wooooorld! :la:
even though I replied to that one first. Oops.
Reply
:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think it's perfect the way it is now! :eager:

-- ... that song just opened on my iTunes... How did you know?! :iconshockplz:
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Alright! :iconsuperw00tplz: I'm definitely keeping it like this then. :D

IT DID? Whoa. I feel like a psychic~ :iconwooooplz:
I like those songs too... :eager:
Reply
:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're like Aunt Wu... :iconscaredplz:
who doesn't? ;)
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
Nu uh! I don't wear ugly eyeshadow. :no: (Actually I hate eyeshadow :XD:)
Reply
:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:XD: True... she isn't very pretty.
(me neither. eyeliner is okay, more than that and I look at myself going: Who are you?)
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
And she's pretty silly! :iconheplz:

How can you even apply eyeliner without looking like some kind of person who escaped from the circus?! :iconwhywouldyoufffplz: I always mess up. *hugs mascara* you've never failed me before...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconcranberry413:
Cranberry413 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
Wow, I agree with Alisyn and baccaratta. This is a very strong piece, beautifully written. :heart:
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you Berry! :iconlubplz: You didn't think it was too short?
I felt kind of lame because it was too long to be a six word story, but I really couldn't cut any of the words that were left. :iconsighingplz:
Reply
:iconcranberry413:
Cranberry413 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
You're welcome! & no! Not everything has to be super long to make a point. :nod:
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
:iconsnuggleplz:
Reply
:iconwriteacrossme:
writeacrossme Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
Though very short, it speaks loudly. It's a very sad subject, I'm not sure what more to say.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
That's okay. :tighthug: I understand it's hard to really say anything about something that's so short. I'm glad that you thought of it that way! :heart:
Reply
:iconwriteacrossme:
writeacrossme Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
:nod: :) :hug:
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
p.s. so sorry I'm lagging behind with your newest chapters... I'm stressing out at the moment but I'll get to them, I promise! ^^;
Reply
:iconwriteacrossme:
writeacrossme Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
No don't be sorry! :tighthug: It's completely fine. :nod: Are you okay though? D:
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Yes, please don't worry! :D Just lots of essays to write and presentations to prepare. Can't wait till December when I finally have holidays!

:iconsweethugplz:
Reply
:iconwriteacrossme:
writeacrossme Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Okay, well good luck. December is coming fast don't worry :hug:
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
That's true... thankfully. :huggle:
Reply
:iconbaccaratta:
baccaratta Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Beautiful, sometimes nothing more is needed.
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you. :huggle: I agree, although I felt kind of sad for getting rid of the story. It's better this way in the end, I think.
Reply
:iconbaccaratta:
baccaratta Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You never did, those few sentences tell more stories than a thousand words. Instead of setting an end, your story is now limited o ly by my imagination. Be proud of your work, I think it's very good
Reply
:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Student Writer
That's... once of the nicest things I heard today. :happycry: Thank you! *drifts away into the sky because she's so happy* :iconpinklilyplz:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconlaeneris: More from Laeneris


Featured in Collections

Prose by 91816119

Suggested DLD's and DLR's by SilverInkblot

prose I - melancholy, sadness and the self by shehrozeameen


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
November 22, 2012
File Size
148 bytes
Thumb

Stats

Views
442
Favourites
21 (who?)
Comments
70
×