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Literature by ClaytonDog

prose I - melancholy, sadness and the self by shehrozeameen


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November 12, 2012
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Dear teen me,

I wish I could send this letter into the past somehow. I really do.

This letter is not meant to list all the good things that will happen in your life. It's meant to tell the truth in order to prepare you. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Looking back, it's tempting to tell you where I made my mistakes. To say what I could've done different. But you and I both know you would follow my exact footsteps either way, mistakes or not. Even so, I will tell you these things because I have no one to say them to except for myself.

There will be bumps on the road, and you won't have an easy time getting over them by yourself. So please, please, don't be a fool like me and think you can handle everything alone. You can, and you will. I know that. But it's going to cause you problems. The sadness and emptiness inside you aren't going to go away. It's going to grow. You will become numb and it'll take hard work and time to open up a little bit again, even if that only means being honest to yourself. Don't even get me started on anything beyond that. I've yet to attempt that myself. I'll let you know how that goes.

You're probably right in the middle of what I remember being one of the best things of my teen years – being with them. Cherish it. We're silly, the two of us, but they didn't mind. It was nice. It felt like home.

Also, get braces. No, really. You're going to regret it when you don't. (I still don't have mine.)

School will be tough. They will bully you and crush your self-esteem, bit by bit, day by day. But you should know I am so proud of you for just keeping on going and living. It's only afterwards, when it's all over, that you see how bad it truly was. Good thing you've gotten numb by then.
Just a few more years and you'll be done with that school. I guarantee you, university will be one of the best things to ever happen to you. It's something to look forward to. The people there are such an improvement. Nobody cares about anything. Wanna go to school in sweatpants and look like you just crawled out of a hole somewhere? Sure, who the hell cares? (I wouldn't do so myself, and neither would you, probably, but it's liberating to know all the same.)So whenever you feel bad, remember this. It will be over one day. You'll be free. Also, you're not stupid and you're perfectly capable of having normal conversations with people. Don't forget that.

By the way, find a way to cope with being a high-sensitive person, but don't use it as an excuse. Because it's not.

Here's something very important. Tell mom. Tell her how you feel. She doesn't believe me any more, but you might still have a chance. What's happening is not normal, and there's professional help for it. I beg you, tell someone. Please. You're the only one who can help me now. You know what it does to you when people don't believe you? When they shrug it off as hormones, or normal teen insecurities? It makes you keep your mouth shut, that's what it does. I'm afraid to tell anyone. What if they don't believe me, either? Or what if they were really right all along, and I have been overreacting? It will take me a few more years to find that out, I'm afraid. I hope it won't be too late by then.

By now, your parents have most likely divorced already. I'm going to be blunt – things will not get better between them. He will get a new girlfriend. She's not evil at heart, but she will aid in your dad making the wrong decisions. Don't depend on him to help you pay for university. Start saving up while you can, so you'll have an easier time later.
About our mom and dad... They will fight and fight until you want to move far away just to avoid it. Hang in there. I mean, they've gotta stop someday. Right?

… Right?

Well then. Let's talk about something different, something closer to your heart - writing. For the love of all that lives, start working on that book. You've had the basic idea in your head for so long now. Don't give me that 'I never finish anything!' You know what I did? I wrote a hundred-and-fifty-thousand words. Bam. You're going to get great ideas. You're going to rework nearly the entire book because your characters tell you you've got them all wrong. And you'll love it, even when it makes you want to pluck your eyebrows in frustration or drown your sore fingers in ice cold water. So please start. I know how you secretly hope your main characters will come pick you up and take you away, to their world. We've always liked to dream, haven't we? Dreams are one of the greatest treasures in the world. I'm happy that we wrote them all down. There is nothing wrong with remaining a child inside, as long as you can act responsible when needed (I'm working on it, I swear!). And who knows, maybe they will come get you one day? We can hope. But most importantly, we can dream. Embrace your creativity because it's something you'll never want to lose. Don't worry. You're never truly going to run out of ideas, even if it seems that way. Nurture it and love it, and it will become one of the things about you that make you say: 'Yes, I'm proud of being me.' And there are only a few things better than acceptance of who you are.

I know what you think when you look in the mirror, because it has only been until recently that I no longer thought the same. You're not a tragedy. You're not so worthless that no one could ever love you. Sure, you may have imperfections. Your cheeks may be rosy all the time, and you might look half your age. But listen to me. You have pretty darn awesome eyes. I know you secretly really like that golden ring around your iris, and your bright smile. So chin up. One day you will meet the perfect person for you, and all the days you waited will be worth it. I've managed so far. You can do it, too. We'll meet him together. Don't stop hoping.

Whew. That was quite the long letter, wasn't it? I'm sorry for not being what you hoped to become. But you still have time that I've used and chances I let float by. You're tough, I know. You'll get through everything, even if it means standing alone. Even if it means taking your own path straight through the wilderness. I just wish I could go back to see you and help you. Just listen to your problems. And maybe my future would be changed along with yours.

Stay who you are, but don't be afraid to reach out. That is the best advice I can give you.

Best of luck,

   Future you
My entry for beccalicious.deviantart.com/jo… .

I... I think this is the most honest thing I've ever written. It was very painful to do. I had to acknowledge things I would rather not think about, and had to remind myself of past events. If only I could give this letter to myself. But it's probably best that she'll never read it.

I would advise anyone who sees to write one too. Even if you're not joining the contest, even if it's just for your eyes only. I didn't want to upload here at first, but then I thought: screw that!

Thank you if you read all of it. Maybe your opinion of me has changed now. Maybe I'm not who you thought I was or how I seemed, and for that, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- Present-time me

p.s. I'm not offended if you laugh at the braces part. :) I was listing all these serious pieces of advice when I remembered that I really regret not getting braces earlier. So there you go! No offense taken. :aww:

p.p.s. Yes, I'm okay. Don't worry. :aww:
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:iconken007008:
ken007008 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Writer
I am a bit late... but lemme get straight to the point: my opinion of you has changed for the better, since not many people can slap the reality straight up to themselves like you do. You may think you're being harsh but I'd say you're being true to yourself and won't protect yourself with unneeded illusions. There is an old chinese saying that states "Be strict to oneself, be lenient to others" which is to say that this is a good aspect that one can adopt.

It's good that you accepted and acknowledged all these stuff about yourself, which I myself took a long time to organize from time to time; I do realize one thing when I do thing (not that you also have to agree) is that "All these past events make the current you, whether for good or for bad, say thanks to all". It may be self comfort and being idiotically positive, as I had to accept that I was bullied, alienated, cornered to a near suicidal state, pressurized, brought up to dislike material satisfaction etc. (there's way too much) but I am very well aware (now) that these made me stronger, made me look in at the world in a different view from what I had seen before (or maybe in a way that I would never see if these didn't happen).

But that is all inferior to this: THESE ARE WHAT MAKES WHO YOU ARE IN THIS WORLD OF INDEFINITE POSSIBILITIES, THE EXISTENCE OF YOU ON A PARALLEL WORLD IS NOT YOU (but "you" who took on another one of the many possibilities) THUS YOU ARE THE ONE THAT IS UNIQUE AND SPECIAL.

As arrogant and wise I may sound, I am definitely no different from you. And naturally this is just my own philosophy and my method of communicating with myself. Even though I'm saying this, I still ponder sometimes on past decisions and dream of how many kinds of me are there in all the worlds possible and how are they living on.
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
Aww, thank you... :blushes: It was hard to write, but for some reason not hard at all to be like that to myself. I used to believe in those illusions, but you know how you've gotta accept the reality at one point. I'll always remain somewhat of a dreamer though. :nod: :tighthug: I like that saying! :aww: And I'd say I am on my way to doing just that, haha.

I'm not sure if I consciously accepted all that, however I did indeed acknowledge it. I kind of wish I had done things differently back then but then again, the things also made me who I am today, like you said. I just really, really regret not doing a few things.

Wow, I'm sorry... :cling: I know it's way too late for me to say this now, since you've already overcome most of it, but I think you're an amazing person and I'm really glad to have met you. :tighthug: It's my honour to count you as one of my friends, which I hope you're okay with... :D

You don't sound arrogant at all. :D The way you're thinking is certainly very interesting, you're really interested in parallel words, right? :eager:

Thank you for your amazing comment, I'm never gonna delete it~ :iconsweethugplz:
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:iconken007008:
ken007008 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
Okay... what is this about coffee shops...? though i don't drink that much coffee

and it would be great to know some easy phrases and sentences in Dutch!!!
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Student Writer
Coffee shops don't sell what their name implies, they sell cannabis (marijuana) =P So if you're walking through Amsterdam and it smells all weird, someone's probably smoking that nearby.

Okay, I'll send you a note! :D
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:iconfellonie:
Fellonie Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is beautiful and honest, well done. We are our own worst critics, hurting ourselves before someone else has the chance to. I've written a similar letter before, but that was a different me. I don't regret any of the mistake I've made, even if I could prevent them I wouldn't, because all the bad has made me who I am today. Life never puts us in a situation that we can't handle. :) Well done.
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you... :tighthug: That's certainly true. I wonder why we're our own worst critics, though, what function would it have...

It's inspiring to read about a bit of your story. :hug:
Life never puts us in a situation that we can't handle. <--- I love that! It's so true. Thank you for giving me a bit of hope for the future. :blushes:
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful! Half the time it seemed like I was writing this :) I would perhaps have written this way had I been about... 3 years younger? lol I am not saying you sound childish but say i learned a lot in that time.

You want to become a writer as well... you faced the bullying as well... there was a time you were very concious... you didn't tell him... wrote a diary.... a diary...

Over all, I loved the tone and the vocabulary is well used as well. Unlike my work which was rather random, you focused on a timeline and you managed to put forward many issues such that, I was unable to put. Of course my issues were different but slightly. Oh its not what you think :aww:

Over all a wonderful job... a lot of insight and detail, unlike my... "hints"... I dunno if I like my style or yours better ^^;

Oh and just as a treat :D [link] This is... the last entry :)
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you! :tighthug: I had the same feeling about parts of your letter. I'm 1 year younger than you, I think, I suppose I wrote this to my 14/15 year-old self. I'm not really sure, actually. ^^; As you can see I'm only now starting to learn a few things. I wish I was more like you, learning things earlier, then if I could hand myself this letter perhaps things would be better.

I still have that diary. :nod: It's nearly full though, all the entries are a huge embarrassment haha... :blush: But it's nice to be able to look back on it. How strange that we resemble eachother quite a bit...

Your work didn't seem random to me. But perhaps it seems that way because I arranged my alineas in order to make more of a story out of it rather than the summary of facts that it was before. Yours had a sense of... poetic-ness (is that even a word?) to it that mine lacks. :) Ah darn, I should've added that in my comment to you! I knew I was forgetting something. :iconfacepalmplz:

But most of all I guess I just allowed myself to bleed words all over the place. Usually I'm really reserved... well, you can see what that got me. Not a whole lot of good. :P

Hearing you think my vocabulary was okay really means a lot to me! :D I struggle with it sometimes and find it hard to express myself, a lot harder than in my native language (although English has a lot more words to use, which is nice. But to use them, one has to know them first... ^^;).

Both of our styles have their pros :nod: It's what makes our letters unique! :dummy:

(I'm gonna go read the deviation you mentioned now :))
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am 20 years old at the moment. By bday passed in october so almost exactly 20 :D I was writing it to my 16/17 year old self.. when I joined university (at 16). Too young and I would be a kid :grump:. And learning things... it is not the most pleasant experience :) But I will give you the easiest hint. Think of what matters to you in your purpose in life. Of course first you have to pinpoint that purpose. It could be as simple as "Do good for the world". Then just remember who's opinion should matter. If a random guy... a bully... even if a friend laughs when I wear different clothes, I don't cringe away or anything. I smile since I am happy with what I wear :dummy:

I would personally like to read your diary but I don't think you will let me and it is probably in written form ^^; Yup it is strange :)

haha, poetic-ness? I don't know if it felt like that but I will take your word for it (whether it is a word or not... who cares :D)

hmm... reserved... there is too long a debate I can fight with myself over whether it is good or bad :confused:

Your vocabulory was not fine... it was good :D and english is not my native language either :D

Yup... I did enjoy your letter :D
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Writer
Ooh, belated happy birthday! :iconhappybirthdaycakeplz: Is joining university at 16 a normal age there? Here, it would be really really early! We don't even have highschool finished by that time. :faint:

Thank you, that's good advice! :D I will try what my purpose is, because as stupid as that may sound, I don't think I've found it yet... I would cringe if a random guy thought bad of me though. ^^; I'm always worrying what others will think of me. That's why I told my younger self to go get help before it gets too hard to reach out. :(

I'm afraid no one else can see that diary... :blush: I'd die if anyone ever read the entries in there, haha, they're incredibly embarrassing but also too honest. I have an actual diary yes, a mini book. :nod:

I've been wondering (my knowledge of the East is terrible... I'm sorry!) what language do you speak, other than English? :D
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :huggle:

Nope... usually people join at 18 or 19 and few at 17. I was an exception.

Many people do not have a purpose though :) I mean they haven't found theirs yet. So it doesn't sound stupid ^^ I got over the stage of what others think of me. And you should have given your younger self an ID to my fb perhaps! That would have helped her ^^

Oh I am not just ANYONE am I? I mean I won't ask you to send me he diary enteries but if I were to get it, you wouldn't stop me from reading right? :iconbegplz:

I speak Urdu... and sub classes of it. English is like... the langauge taught in school ^^;
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:iconstardust-fangirl:
stardust-fangirl Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
i... i dont know what to say... sorry for not being on here for a while... i have my reasons.
anyway, you are officially in my trophy room of "awesome people that i will never have the decency to be like"
you should feel proud lol :3
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Writer
Don't be sorry for that! There's nothing you need to explain, you know :tighthug: Just glad to see you're still here!

In your trophy room? :blushes: Aw shucks... I don't think I deserve that, haha. :D
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:iconstardust-fangirl:
stardust-fangirl Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ya do
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
... *claps* for writing something this honest... for being this immaculate in your description... for being so open, so warm, and yet so... adult... I'm proud of you.

I really am... You're a better person than I can ever be, or anyone could ever possibly imagine themselves in becoming. You're strong willed, and yet you're full of life.

You define what it means to "keep the show going with a smile and a brave face".

But here, I must insist... I hope your older self... does manage to find happiness in life... I just hope that... if nothing else... You do find something... that makes you cheerful from time to time... no matter how bleak you view it...

I genuinely hope so.

... please try not writing anything this honest... because you remind me a lot about who I am as a person... about the problems that I fear will explode... but can't find a reason to tell anyone else... Its... something that I want to avoid... without being too stark a person... Irrespective of all that, thank you... I hold this work with tremendous esteem. I really do.
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Writer
I wish dA had a 'save comment' option. I would put this in the folder 'kind words' for sure. Comments like these are what makes me smile after a long day, just the feeling that people care is wonderful. :tighthug:

Thank you so much for everything you've said, although I hope you don't think too highly of me... :blushes: You're making me blush.... I'm not a better person than you or anyone else. To be honest I don't consider myself strong-willed at all, I give up at everything. :(

But that second statement does apply to me. I try, at least, keep on going because what else are you gonna do? And if I don't smile, then I'm a bother for others...

I hope I can find happiness too (doesn't everyone, though?). I used to love writing my book, but right now I think everything I've ever written is horrible and that my plot is falling apart completely! But don't worry about it, I have that sometimes, and it'll pass. :) I think writing is my biggest enjoyment in life at the moment. So it does make me cheerful from time to time. Especially when all you guys here at dA are so supportive and nice. Sometimes just the nice responses make me all teary-eyed :iconcry-plz:

Well, I just turned a really kind comment by you into a complain-y mess by me. ^^;

I'm sorry! I really didn't mean to bring up any bad memories or problems. :cling: I won't write something this honest for a long time now, don't worry.
Sometimes there's just no reason to tell others. I know how that feels... Also, I just thought you should know that even if you don't wanna talk about it in specific you can always ramble on to me. :huggle:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
shhh *hugs you tightly, whispers in your ear* calm down... relax... now listen to me...

yes... there is a way to save such comments... you can make a folder for your comments and save them there. Also, unclick the "remove this message after I reply" to preserve it.

I've done that a lot over-time.

And yes, I still have a high opinion of you; I give up too... there was once a point... that I wanted to leave this world... take my life and smack it away... but then... things got better...

Academically, I consider myself a failure. A pitiable one... but I don't let it get the better of me, because I have my words to fortify my being.

you didn't turn it into a complain-y mess, sweetheart. *places head over your shoulders, closes eyes, and then opens them* you needn't be sorry; just build your strength, keep growing... and thank you... thank you for trusting me enough, to be such a pillar.

*lets you go, holds your arms, looks at you* now, you wipe those tears from your face, and eat something sweet... or watch a movie... or read a good short story...

*smiling at you* smile?
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Student Writer
:icondragonhugplz:

Really? I can make a folder for comments?! :omg: No one ever told me that. Mind explaining how I can put them into a folder?

I'm really relieved to hear things got better for you, even though it might've been in the past you still had me worried. :( I hope they'll stay that way for you! Why are you a failure, though? You seem and sound like an incredibly smart person. :D

Well c'mon, I kind of did turn into a mess there. ^^; And thank you for listening to me. I bet being the amazing listener you are, you probably have people buzzing around your ears all the time. I hope you'll remember to look after yourself as well. :)

*flashes you a big smile* Better?
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Once you name your folder, just drag the comment to the folder.

It is... so far, its staying that way.

... I really don't know... Whenever I sit in my exams, I get into this state where... I know the answer, but I just don't have the words for it... I guess I have a fear of studying in constrained conditions...

Heh, yeah... they do that a lot. Don't worry, I'm taking care of myself.

Better *hugs you tightly, pat on back* atta girl!
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Writer
Alright, I think I got it. :nod: Thanks for the explanation!

Your exams are open questions? :( Those are really hard to answer in my opinion. Have you tried studying with music, and repeat those particular songs in your brain while in the exam? :) It might sound a little bit strange but sometimes what you study gets associated with the song you were listening to. Maybe if you mentally play the song, the right words will come to you?

:iconsneakhugplz:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome.

*sigh* I get distracted easily with music on. I study without any music... Just need a room to work in.
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Student Writer
Whatever works best for you! :nod: :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconsmilekeeper:
smilekeeper Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I bet this was very therapeutic.
I know the feeling of writing something down on paper and just getting it out of your head.
Continue doing what you know you do well/good or best in. (:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Student Writer
It was. :nod: Although initially writing it was hard, but then the words kind of flew out by themselves. ^^; Thank you, I will do my best!
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:iconsmilekeeper:
smilekeeper Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconsmilieplz:
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:iconcharlimonster:
Charlimonster Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Its an emotional letter to yourself... I'm the same, I am completely harsh on myself but not on others!! my opinion of you will never change :) i can promise you that :) :huggle:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Writer
It's good to hear I'm not alone with that :blush: :iconslowglompplz: And thank you, I really appreciate hearing that :iconsweethugplz:
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:iconcharlimonster:
Charlimonster Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Yeah you will never be alone on it :) :hug: :glomp: Your welcome :) :huggle:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Student Writer
:iconinloveglomp-plz:
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:iconcharlimonster:
Charlimonster Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
Hehe :D :cuddle: :huggle:
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:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, there is so much in here that I can apply to myself. I probably still am my "teen-me" but even when I look back I can see a lot of what you described and it almost made me cry, because I know how it feels.
Also, you gave me hope. You know what I told you about me hating High School? So when you wrote "They will bully you and crush your self-esteem, bit by bit, day by day. But you should know I am so proud of you for just keeping on going and living." My eyes got all fuzzy.
You have such a gift for writing, I was really touched. And when you wrote that about braces I laughed a bit even if around it was serious.
But you should really not be so harsh on yourself. Give yourself a bit of your kindness which I (and I bet others as well) am so fond of! It makes me feel bad saying this, because I am probably the person who is the master in being harsh on oneself, but that's why I can tell you to give yourself a break. Look around an listen to what others close to you tell you, even if it's hard sometimes :iconsweethugplz:

P.S.: I also dream about being in a different world, the one from the novel I have wanted to write for years ^^; So, a word from a fellow dreamer: Keep on dreaming!
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Writer
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to almost make you cry! :cling: But I am honoured that I was able to move you... I'm not so much of an adult myself, but according to the rules I classified as one. Didn't really want to write one to my future self, anyway. ^^;

Yes, I remember you telling me that. :( That was one of the hardest bits of the letter for me to write, since it required me to actually acknowledge it... If you feel the same, then remember what I told myself - it'll get better!

I was serious about regretting not having braces, but the part itself wasn't serious at all! :giggle: It sure didn't fit in with the rest, haha.

Yeah, I should be nicer to myself. But it's hard :stare: you probably know...

Oh, I'm so relieved! I thought I was the only one who ever did that! :happybounce: What is that novel about if I may ask? :D
I'll never stop dreaming! :huggle:
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:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No I meant that as a compliment!! ^^
To the future you... I wouldn't know what to write. I'd be like: ... Do you still like pizza? ^^;

Yup, I'll take that to heart. (: I'm sure it must've cost a great deal of work to write that... :hug:

Well it was a nice break in between (: Great job! :iconrightyouareplz:

Nah, I'm really living in my own world sometimes ^^
You may ask ^^ It is a fantasy-type, and it is about a girl (I won't go too much into detail, as you said, we don't know who might read this) and her struggle to find her place in the world as well as reunite the different peoples in order to stand tall against the impending danger that rises from the shadows of jahf aifuh rauyghf. (I don't know the name yet)

Yay! Dreamers! :highfive:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you... I really appreciate that. :blush: :iconsweethugplz:

Haha, yeah, writing to the future is pretty hard. I'd probably ask myself if I ever became a writer/ if I sticked to my own ideas instead of giving in to the pressure of others.

It's strange, but I do feel a little bit better after writing this letter. And especially after getting all these super nice responses! :huggle: It's like my head has gotten lighter than it was before.

You know, it's only a super small summary, but if it's even half as good as Scavengers you can count me in as a fan already! :D

jahf aifuh rauyghf seems like a perfect name. :rofl:

Dreamers! :iconsuperw00tplz:
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:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:

Yeah that too. Sometimes I wish I could go to the future, see all of it and then go back. And then forget everything. It wouldn't do me any good afterwards (and maybe it already happened :iconohohoplz: ) but it would be interesting ^^
I hope you stick to your ideas! They'll be better than anything else! :la:

Hm, that sounds nice (: I'm glad you feel that way :iconsupertighthugplz:
Getting that off your chest and telling someone must be part of the reason ^^ I guess
:iconepiclaplz: My first fan!!! :iconoldschoolownedplz: Actually I've been working on it for so long but all I have is the language (or parts of it), the background, setting, maps and flora&fauna but no single finished chapter... only scenes. And most of the finished things are in my head. I'm so afraid that when I write it down it'll become crappy... so I'll wait until I finish a whole book, publish it and then I'll start writing it ... I guess...
I know riiight?!

~ :iconimaginationplz: ~

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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Writer
I think about things like that a lot, too. Would you ask yourself the things that were going to happen to you, if you had a time machine?

I don't think I would... it's like finding out what age you're going to die at. I don't think I could bear living with the knowledge of what happens in my future! Unless it's really vague and positive, such as "A great thing will happen to you"! :boogie:

Oooh, I am your first fan?! Well that can't be right. Where are the other thousands of people? :? Anyway I will consider myself your nr 1. fan! :icondweebdanceplz:

Hmm, I understand, you're afraid it will turn into something bad as soon as you physically write it down. Right?
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:iconakashasdreamworld:
AkashasDreamworld Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well as I said, I would want to forget it afterwards. If I knew what was going to happen to me... well that would take away all the fun x)
But I could live with something vague as you said :eager: Or something like: You shall be an aspiring writer and author of many great books!!! ... heh.


Haha, you think too highly of me ^^ There might be a few who like my poems or some small stuff, but no one would say they are my fans ^^; I'm too... newbie-ish I guess ^^ And besides, the only ones who really care about what I write are all on dA. I have lots of people around me who keep telling me: Oh so you want to write books. Tell me, then what will you real job be? ^^;

Yay! Number one Fan!!!! :iconepiclaplz: *happy dance*

Exactly. I have every imagine, every scene perfectly played out in my head, but if I write them down they turn dull and eventless. The idea of this novel means so much to me, I'd rather wait years before I write it before I destroy it...
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Writer
Yeah, how awesome would that be?! :squee:

Nonsense~ I think exactly the right height of you (yup, that sentence made 0% sense. New achievement unlocked.) :iconhappymeowplz: Don't linger on those words of others too much. Just do what you like, who cares if they think it's not a real job. :) :tighthug:

If you're willing to wait so long for it, it must be truly amazing! I can't wait!
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(1 Reply)
:iconhealercharm:
HealerCharm Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Awww sweetie~ ;3; *reaches out to hug ya* It's alright, it's well written if you ask me~ ow`o :huggle:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Writer
*accepts hug* Thank you for all the love and patience you've expressed towards me, I really appreciate it. :iconsweethugplz:
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:iconhealercharm:
HealerCharm Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
*snuggles you* You are ever so welcome sweetie~ :aww: :heart: Anything for a dear sweetheart like you~ :iconlovehug:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Student Writer
:iconnewglomp:
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:iconhealercharm:
HealerCharm Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconcocoglompplz: :heart: Wuv you~
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Writer
You're too kind to me... :iconcryforeverplz:
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